Often something happens that makes me remember the old quote, “People may not remember what you did or said, but they will remember how you make them feel.”
We choose our reactions to life.
Those moments when we struggle with actions and events, we have a split second to find the good and react in a way that is pleasing and helpful to a crisis. How do you respond to hateful tones? Do you often snap? Are you short tempered?
In the middle of the night, my kids got into a sparring match over a blanket. Somehow the discussion came up about which blanket belonged to whom and they wanted to exchange blankets. Well, one of them did. By the time I was awakened, temperatures were rising and voices were clouding the air. I was surprised by the tones, and realized it needed a cool hand to bring down the attitudes. I’m not sure I accomplished that, but I tried.
A few minutes later everyone was back in bed, under a blanket and the crisis had passed, but I was wide awake. I kept wondering what started the dispute. The next morning, I asked what started the problem and my son said. I woke up and realized that he had my blanket. I said, but they’re the same, how can you tell?
“Because when I was sick, you came in and laid down with me and my blanket smells like your perfume,” he answered.
I thought back to when he was sick a few weeks back and remembered a high temp. I’d gone into his room to check his temp and he felt warm. I gave him some meds and laid down on the blanket, holding him until long after he fell asleep, brushing hair away from his feverish face, and keeping my cool hands on his cheeks to comfort him. He’d slept fitfully most of the night, but as long as I stayed nearby, he rested, and his fever went away. By the next evening, he’d gotten over being sick and was back to being a teenager. I realized that I’d washed both blankets after that, and there’s no way it could still smell of my perfume.
“How do you know it smelled like my perfume?” I asked.
” I dreamed I had a fever and you weren’t there to cool my face,” he answered. “I couldn’t smell you there.” He was nearly in tears again, as he had been during the night.
“Ah, well, we’ll fix that. I smiled.” I took his hand and went to my room for the bottle of perfume. I walked with him to his room and helped him make the bed, with a few spritz of my favorite White Musk perfume on his pillow, on his blanket, and between the sheets.
It isn’t the crisis that creates an issue, it’s how you respond to the crisis. Had I realized the night before that he simply needed comfort, I could have solved the problem faster, and neither of us would have been frustrated. I might have actually gotten some sleep.
More often than any other reason, crisis mount when one person feels a need for comfort. That closeness of another person gives them solace and peace in the moment. They need to feel loved.
How long has it been since you remembered to help another person feel loved?
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